The Oriental Spa Garden Tenerife

About The Oriental Spa Garden

My mum always warned me that if I ate too much chocolate my teeth would fall out. She never said anything about plastering it all over my body though. So, in a journalistic quest and a sugar craving frenzy I headed to the Oriental Spa Garden at Tenerife’s Hotel Botanico for a self-indulgent smattering of chocotherapy.

Wearing nothing more than an air of curiosity and a pair of paper Y-fronts I was duly painted from head to toe in rich, smooth chocolate. I looked like a loose-limbed éclair. “What does it taste like?” I asked my decorator. “Chocolate,” she replied rather predictably. After scooping a fingerful off my stomach I couldn’t disagree. It was essentially just like edible chocolate but without the butter. A lid was pulled down encasing my torso like an iron lung. I was now a chocolate filling with a hard coating – an M&M perhaps.

With just my head protruding I watched the lights dim and listened to a succession of tinkly and chanting tunes whilst the sweet stuff worked it’s magic. Inside the oven I was steamed on gas mark 4 for twenty minutes. The aroma of warm chocolate was pleasant at first, but like any gluttony over sugary snacks it wasn’t long before the sweet warm wafts induced more than a touch of nausea.

Thankfully, at that moment, a light shower of cold water from within my metal lung created an unsubtle distraction from the sickly smell and the spread was rinsed away. My chocolate therapist lifted the lid and I climbed off the treatment table dripping and smeared in brown goop. A quick shower removed the remainder of the chocolate and revealed that my soft centre radiated with a healthy shine. Unfortunately I was also left with the strong smell of chocolate emanating from my pores for a full two days afterwards.

It had all felt very luxurious but is the ‘Chocolate Fondue Wrap’ more than just a gimmick? Yes, according to Doctor Javier Diaz, Spa Director and the instigator of such rich treatments; “Chocolate has many positive benefits,” he explained. “It makes us feel good, can detoxify and balance excess body fluids and helps to firm and smooth the skin.” My mother never told me that when she was wrestling back the Mars bars. If only I’d known back then…

Cocoa claims Apart from tasting mighty fine and satisfying the kind of munchies that only chocolate can satisfy, it’s also claimed that cocoa packs some pretty heavyweight health benefits - though only when taken in moderation of course; • Decreases blood pressure • Improves circulation by stopping platelets sticking together and forming blood clots • Provides a source of pain relief by releasing endorphins in the brain • Defends against destructive molecules called free radicals, which trigger cancer, heart disease and strokes • Improves digestion and stimulates the kidneys

The Oriental Spa Garden Photos & Map (click to enlarge)